Babylon
by Veste Notus
Summary: Heero confesses his love for Duo, but doesn't want to hear Duo's response...


Disclaimers: I can neither confirm, nor deny the existence of Gundam Boys on my laptop. Nah, I don't own 'em, I just love them.  
  
Pairings: 1 + 2 Warnings: Shonen-ai, sap, very very light angst, songfic, Heero POV Spoilers: Spoilers? *snickers* YEAH RIGHT!  
  
Notes: I took a dance class and we danced to this song. The ENTIRE TIME, I was thinking something along the lines of "Hey. this sounds like Heero and Duo!" Me no baka! Obsessed? Me? Nah.!  
  
Babylon by Veste Notus  
  
I sit at home alone, again. And it isn't so bad, if I think about it. Everything just seems to stand still on this particular Friday night. I lie back in the middle of the couch and let my eyes look in the general direction of the TV. I'm not really interested in the images on the screen in the least. I never am anymore. Of course everything that plays through my mind now is of a certain braided, loud-mouthed American boy.  
  
//Friday night I'm going nowhere  
  
All the lights are changing green to red  
  
Turning over TV stations  
  
Situations running through my head//  
  
While the TV plays its backdrop of noise accompanied by flashing lights, my mind wonders to those moments that we shared. Back then I never appreciated those times where we just hung out and talked. I never thought twice about the secrets he'd entrust me with. I play each moment in my mind and laugh at how dumb I was back then. I've come a long way. I've made a full circle. But I'm not sure if that's a good thing.  
  
//Well looking back through time  
  
You know it's clear that I've been blind//  
  
I think I put too much on him this time. I mean, he'd slowly (and I do mean slowly) crept his way into my heart. I always act on my emotions, but sometimes I find emotions can be highly unstable. But somewhere along the way, the obnoxious boy made me love him. I could hate him for that, but instead, I just love him the more.  
  
"Heero! Can't you be a little more interesting? Gods! You're like a machine or something! Put the damn laptop down and just have some fun like a NORMAL human being!" he'd mock. I used to answer him with a grunt. He'd continue his pestering until I mustered up my best glare and threw it straight to him. That would shut him up. for all of 5 seconds.  
  
"Ne, Heero. Why are you so boring??"  
  
"."  
  
//I've been a fool  
  
To open up my heart  
  
To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule//  
  
"How 'bout some dinner?!" And with that he cheerfully bounced away.  
  
".baka." I said quietly. He heard it though.  
  
"And don't you just love me for it?" he joked.  
  
".I think I do." I said, once again, quietly. And he, once again, heard it.  
  
//Saturday I'm running wild  
  
And all the lights are changing red to green//  
  
I can't believe he heard me. He wasn't meant to. It was one of those 'thinking out loud' things that I only wish I could take back. I saw is eyes flash when he heard it. I didn't give him the chance to respond. I'm Heero Yuy. I never run, I never hide, and I always tell lies. I'm not *running*, nor am I *hiding*. per say. I'm just.  
  
//Moving through the crowd I'm pushing  
  
Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream//  
  
.running and hiding. I'm running from how I feel, and hiding from what comes next. Over and over I run through my head what I'd told him. That night haunts me now.  
  
I let people taller and smaller than I shove past me as I shove past them. I keep my head down. I'm too confused and worried to make eye contact. Before, I'd keep my eyes to myself so no one could ever identify or recognize me. Did I mention that full circle I made?  
  
The adrenaline rush from my fear is cheering me up in the rain. or is that the endorphins from the exercise of my running away? It matters not. I'm just escaping my fears, my body trying to tell me I did the right thing.  
  
//Only wish that you were here  
  
You know I'm seeing it so clear  
  
I've been afraid  
  
To tell you how I really feel  
  
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made//  
  
I'd said it only in passing. Every word echoed through my hollow shell-of-a-body. It was disgracing and wonderful at the same time.  
  
"If you want it, come and get it. 'Crying out loud!" I paused to watch his facial expressions change. "The love that I was giving you was never in doubt." I offered my soul, and then ran like hell.  
  
//Let go your heart. let go your head. and feel it now.//  
  
.Aishiteru, Duo.  
  
//Babylon//  
  
//Sunday all the lights of London  
  
Shining, Sky is fading red to blue//  
  
I've been gone a whole day now. It's not raining anymore, so I suppose that's improvement. My clothes are still a little damp though. Heero no baka. I woke up to watch the sunrise of a new day. Dew drops fell from my hair as I lifted my head from my crouched, huddled position on the moistened earth. I guess this means I'm done running.  
  
//I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves  
  
And wondering where it is you might be going to//  
  
Today's Sunday. Duo won't be going anywhere today. Normally he has mass in the morning, which my internal clock tells me starts about now. It's no surprise to me anymore that I've memorized his schedule. It started with me needing to know where he was for the good of the mission. Then it became a game - see if I could track Duo. Then it became something more.  
  
I toe the leaves still on the ground, heavy laden with water from the all- night downpour. Well then.  
  
I want it. And I'm just running away from it. I'm running from a place I know I belong. Duo is at least my friend. If anything, he would be worried that I had not returned to our apartment, which for the time being is our safehouse.  
  
//Turning back for home  
  
You know I'm feeling so alone I can't believe//  
  
Will he yell at me? Will he hit me? Will it burn like all the other slaps, or will it throb dully with the ache in my heart. He won't - he *can't* return my feelings. He's been trained better than to even *like* a comrade. Then again, he *is* my best friend now.  
  
I feel confused and empty. I've already resigned myself to my unrequited feelings. There's no reset button. Maybe he'll forget? No. He'll always remember. and always act stranger around me.  
  
I've lost my best friend.  
  
//Climbing on the stair  
  
I turn around to see you smiling there  
  
In front of me//  
  
I feel the cold metal of the railing and look up to the black-and-white scene before me. I swallow hard the lump in my throat and raise my eyes to see him standing at the top of the landing. I freeze.  
  
His eyes burn promise, his mouth curves devotion, and his soul says 'welcome home'. He's not mad. He's willing to start again? Reset? He clears his throat and from it soft whispers bubble up like sweet bells.  
  
".If you want it, come and get it. 'Crying out loud!... the love that I was giving you was never in doubt."  
  
//Let go your heart  
  
Let go your head  
  
And feel it now//  
  
"Let go your heart, let go your head. and feel it now." He whispers softly in my ear and soon the two of us no longer cared for any of our past worries. I climbed the stairs steadily toward him until we both stood at the top, enchanted, mesmerized, and in love.  
  
And in that one instance before our lips touch, a single word escaped my thoughts and was spoken in a breathless whisper through the Sunday skies.  
  
//Babylon//  
  
Owari 


End file.
